Cranberism Founding

I was walking through the woods, when I found myself surrounded by a dense fog. A light appeared, it came closer and closer bringing with it an unexplainable heat, then the light spoke to me. It said, "Eric, all of the current religions are wrong, they show me, GOD, as angry, hateful and violent when all I ever want is to have a good time and a few laughs, I don't even drink that much. So you Eric, YOU!!! Must create a new religion, a true religion. You will write my holy book, a perfect book. Come into the wood, whenever possible and I will breath my words and knowledge into your mind. One last thing before I go, you must call this religion Cranberism, like cranberries." Then I replied, "But...But a lot of people don't like cranberries and what if they laugh and say it's stupid." The light replied, "Then I will SMITE them just as I WILL SMITE YOU if you do not comply." So here I am founding Cranberism, and here I will write the words that God breathes into me. And you will listen, and love it...Otherwise I will be smited....Ugh.